Event Anxiety and Coping Mechanisms
/Once upon a time, I was at an event and a fellow author told me that I don’t understand social anxiety since I’m an extrovert. Well, technically, yes. As mentioned in previous blog entries, Pinkie Pie from My Little Pony is my spirit animal. I love meeting people and chatting and making new friends. But, while I don’t understand social anxiety, I’m no stranger to anxiety in other forms. The type that directly relates to my author life is what I call logistics anxiety—all the things that can go wrong during travel.
Forgetting to pack something I can’t get where I’m visiting.
Forgetting my stuff that allows me to take payments.
Visions of my car breaking down when it’s just me in the middle of nowhere.
Having no cell signal on top of that.
Literally all the things that could follow.
I can feel it prickling at the back of my neck, raising my heart rate. And I would like to avoid having a panic attack, thank you very much. I thought I was dying the first time I had one. And I know I’m not the only one. A lot of writers I know deal with anxiety of various forms. And you need to know right now that if you deal with anxiety too, you’re not crazy and you’re not alone. Not by a long shot. So here’s my attempt at helping others who deal with the nasty brain chomper if I can^.
^Let’s be clear. I’m in no way, shape, or form a therapist or a doctor. I just know what’s worked for me in dealing with my anxiety. Everyone is different, though. I’ve talked with my doctor about anxiety medication and together we decided that wasn’t necessary for me and my situation. Your needs might be different, so please don’t take what follows as the be-all end-all. Explore your options and carefully consider all methods. Your mental health is too important not to.
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Figure Out What Makes You Tick and Find Its Foil ~ Knowledge is power, y’all. You can’t fight an enemy without knowing who your enemy is and how they operate. So whatever way it is that you unravel your thoughts, do that thing and figure out what it is that you’re afraid of in the first place. For me, the method is a combination of journaling and talking to someone—word barf, in other words—and the answer is control. Not feeling like I’m in control is what sets me off.
Yes, I know, none of us really ever have control. This is how I cope, okay?
So how can I have a sense of control, even if is a false one? Some of the solution is easy. You know how I mentioned earlier that I worry I’m gonna forget something? I’ve built myself checklist templates, which I have preloaded for every event. I use Trello, but there are a million ways I could do this. Then, when I’m packing, I don’t have to lean on my swiss cheese brain to remember all the things I need to bring.
And it’s always evolving. There was that one event in KY where I didn’t check my book boxes and discovered at the event that I only had a handful of Raven’s Cry copies with me. After that, I updated my checklist to include “check book boxes for titles”. If there’s a chance the item will be a recurring thing, I add it to the template. It’s a lot easier to delete something that’s already on there than it to remember something I don’t have a reminder for. I’m like Jesse Eisenberg in Zombieland with his list of The Rules.
Zombieland is property of, (c) of, and all that other stuff of Columbia Pictures
Be Prepared ~ Do I need to sing it like Scar from The Lion King? Because I will. Y’all know I will. An asthmatic hopes not to have an asthma attack, but they might still bring an inhaler with them. Someone with a peanut allergy hopes not to have an anaphylactic reaction, but they carry around an epi pen anyway. Look, sometimes stuff happens, so beee preeeepaaaaaaared! Told ya I’d sing it. I bring mobile charging packs and cords with me as backup because, yes, I am completely dependent on my phone.
And you know what? That served me extremely well when I was in the frozen north just the other week. Did you know cold will kill an iPhone battery? Looking at you, Minneapolis winter 😒.
So take out insurance against the things that will aggravate your brain chomper.
Know the Weak Links in the System ~ For whatever reason, my Google Maps app will randomly close while I’m using it if I don’t keep it pulled up front and center on my phone. This is a problem when I’m driving through the backwoods of AL and don’t have enough signal to reload my map. I’ve tried uninstalling and reinstalling the app, logging out and logging back in. No dice. That thing is just a drama llama—if it’s not the center of attention, it stomps off in a silent, background huff. That being the case, I’ve investigated and learned I can instead download the map I’m using for offline access or keep it up all the time. So know your pitfalls and investigate ways to work around them.
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Speaking of failings within a system, let’s have a minute of real talk here. I know anyone can fall prey to violence, but the fact is there are some groups who do more often than others. Protect yourself, my peoples. Pepper spray is a great option. I’ve also heard people mention a tactical flashlight is a good thing to have on-hand, so I’m planning on getting one for myself—more research is required before I buy. Specifically one that has a USB recharge option. I also highly recommend checking out this episode of 20-Minute Delay (only twenty minutes) on traveling alone.
Invest in Maintenance ~ I have a special place in my spleen for platitudes. I don’t like them because they’re often so vague as to be meaningless. But I have to admit that one about an ounce of prevention being worth a pound of cure is pretty true. In my case, because I use my car so much, I take her in for check-ups regularly. And I don’t put off repairs for long. That way, I know she’s in good nick and therefore as reliable as possible. For you, what’s the mileage that chips away at the thing(s) in your life that you need to be reliable?
Let me take a moment to say I understand that life is hella demanding. I speak from experience when I say sickness gives zero 🦊 about our lives. The world we live in has too little time and demands too much money and we’re pulled in all directions.
But you can’t help someone who’s on fire when you’re busy burning too.
So be sure to take time and resources to keep up your own health.
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And, last but not least, friends, breathe! Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Especially within your trusted community, whatever form that takes. People are often way more understanding than we give them credit for. There’s nothing weak or shameful about having anxiety. It’s legit.
Wanna chat about it? I understand that sometimes we just need to know that we’re not alone, so leave a comment below if you need to 👇. Take care, friends, and thanks for reading!
Next Time’s Entry: All the Toughest Pills to Swallow (Vol. 1).
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